Monday, September 28, 2009

These Are My People

I've mentioned before that I love the fact that I honestly, hand-to-god, like everyone I work with at the vet's office. I've never had that at a job before. There's always one jackass that works at a job that's put there just to piss me off, I swear to all that is holy, but somehow I lucked out this time. I'd like to think of it as payback for the job I had in college where my manager stole my paychecks and probably bought action figures with them. Or whores. Either works.

At any rate, it's reason number 3,496 why I love this job. There's a particular co-worker there. Let's call her Jackie. She's especially fun to work with, except for all those times she's scared the holy living piss out of me just because she can. I'm the jumpiest person I know and it doesn't take much to make me drop a brick. Jackie picked up on this early on and has taken advantage of this fact quite often. I can't tell you how many times I've opened a door to what I thought was an empty exam room only to find Jackie crouched behind the door, waiting to jump out at me. Or, you know, just standing there. Either way I scream and poop myself. Like I said, it doesn't take much.

But then there was the one time Jackie decided to take advantage of a large cardboard box that I had set to the side to take to the dumpster at the end of the day. It was approximately 4 feet tall or so. Just tall enough that a 5'7" woman could climb in and crouch down a touch without being seen. Especially if her partner-in-crime puts another box on top to really conceal the fact that it's no longer just an empty box, but rather a really clever way to send me to an early grave.

And that's basically what it did. I walked to the back of the clinic to grab some canned food for a client that was coming in. As I neared the large box, Jackie popped out of the box and I gasped, screamed, and jumped off to the side, right into my satin-lined coffin.

This was, like, a week and a half ago and I'm still sleeping with a defibrillator. I'm so going to get her back somehow. I just have to figure out how to do it before she tops her last prank.

I'm screwed.

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